Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, step right up and enter the Meadowlands where we have assembled the most incredible sights and sounds for your entertainment. You won’t believe your eyes; you won’t believe your ears! You’ll be amazed by feats of stupidity; you’ll gasp at scenes of monstrous incompetence! Step right up and witness the greatest sideshow in Major League Soccer …

In the first ring we have Mr. Mo Johnston who neglected to pay the taxes he owed the authorities of some quaint little island off the coast of Europe. Yes, the taxmen are none too pleased with Maurice, and they’ve petitioned the Glasgow courts to insure the “pompatus of love” pays the $791,821 he owes.

In the second ring we have Alexi Lalas who was so keen to demonstrate those cutting edge managerial techniques he learned from the big boys at AEG that he went and pissed off Amado Guevara. Yes, Alexi, a public falling out with one of the better players on the MetroStars is obviously the way to build a SuperClub. I don’t know why I ever doubted your general manager abilities. Now Alexi’s got a high-priced disgruntled player whose made it so clear he won’t again play in any serious fashion for the MetroStars that he’s effectively forced Lalas and Company to trade him.

In the third ring we’ve got word from a reputable source that we should expect an “avalanche” of trades from the Metros in the next few days. “This week,” the report says, “should not be for the faint of heart.”

Back in November when the Great Goateed One elected to remove “interim” from Mo Johnston’s job description I suggested that the MetroStars might finally be getting on track. Now I see I spoke too soon.

The MetroCircus is back in town.