… and it’s called The All-American XI.

Sure, it’s a den of infamy run by hacks, but you’d best be bookmarking it.

What an odd opening weekend. I had all the anticipation that everyone else did. Then the weekend finally came and I watched all the games. And at the end of that weekend I found myself scratching my head and saying “What the devil was that”?

I was as confused as DC United by that strangely uniformed team that went up by two goals while playing with conviction and belief. The team that gave up two goals in the second half looked familiar though. Reminded me of those MetroSomethings - whatever they were called.

And don’t you think that team down in Houston played just like the San Jose Earthquakes? The resemblance was uncanny.

What happened to my favorite lovable losers? Where have you gone, CD Chivas USA? If it wasn’t for El Guzano in the net and the Tom and Miles sideshow I’d hardly have recognized the team. (You read it here first: CD Chivas USA will have a winning record against the Galaxy this year.)

I couldn’t believe that John Ellinger defied all expectations and did the extraordinary. See, it takes a special kind of talent to make an expansion team worse in its sophomore year than in its inaugural season. But evidently John Ellinger is a man with just that special talent. (You read it here first: Real Salt Lake might win a game this year.)

Then there’s the oddest case of all: Why is Fernando Clavijo still coaching in Major League Soccer? Nothing that man has done with that team makes a lick of sense to me. As I once suggested on a prominent internet message board, the ways of Fernando are an enigma.

Strange days, indeed. Though not as strange as that Magnum PI number Scott Garlick’s got growing on his face.