Let’s just call it The Debacle. American soccer fans know what I’m talking about.

Since The Debacle I haven’t cared much for writing here. And I’ve been busy. But, of course, I’ve been busy before and that never stopped me from posting here before. (Well, sometimes it did.) But even when busy I usually found a way to write something - you know - as “preparation” for work or as a “break” from work. But since The Debacle I just wanted to stew and fume in silence. Hence my absence.

Well, that’s not entirely true. See, a few days after The Debacle I jotted down some notes on its aftermath but then I never found the time to convert them into something substantial and I certainly didn’t have the inclination to make that time. But they’ve been gnawing at me for weeks and it’s time to get them posted because it’s plainly obvious unless I post them nothing will ever be posted on this blog again. And I like this blog. I just have to get over The Debacle.

So here without much editing are my notes:

• Our Way. After the success of the 2002 World Cup US Soccer produced a DVD on the accomplishment. It was called “Our Way” and that phrase accurately captured the character of that team. In 2006 we didn’t play our way. If we’re going to be successful we have to do things our way. That means we have to play our game. If that means we lose, then so be it. The point is we’re never going to win unless we do it our way.
• Transitional Era. The reality is this cup came at a bad time for US Soccer. As all the post World Cup retirements attest, our player pool was in very much in transition.
• Prima Donovan. Landon Donovan is a very talented but very limited player. The sooner everyone realizes that the better. He should be on the team, but he is not the kind of player around which you can build a team. Things could have been different for Donovan, but it’s clear at this point he has reduced himself to a high caliber role player.
• Playing Soccer While American. (Some will get that reference.) We can never expect calls to go our way. It’s not because they’re against us, it’s because we’re Americans playing soccer. There will always be a presumption against us. That means we have to be better than both the other team and the referee. It’s not fair, but those are the breaks. We either learn to cope with that fact or we will forever fail on the world stage. If that means we have to be twice as good to get the result we’d get on an even playing field then so be it. We’ll just have to be twice as good.
• MLS vs Europe. For the moment the core of the team should be European players getting time (like Gooch) and MLS players looking to jump to Europe (like Dempsey). Career MLS players (like Pope and Donovan) should, at most, be role players on the team.
• We are hated. I knew this beforehand, but it bears repeating. When we lose billions are happy. Embrace the situation and stop whining about it.
• McTargetForward. We don’t necessarily need a big, lumbering, hard working target forward. I look forward to the day when US Soccer realizes this.
• MLS is both a problem and the solution. Our standout players at the World Cup generally came from MLS. The league can create solid soccer players. But it does not foster a truly competitive player – that is someone with the habits and mindset to deliver every single time he steps on the field. It is a significant problem that a star in Major League Soccer admits he wasn’t “tuned in” during the World Cup and laments that he doesn’t know why some days you’re on your game and some days you aren’t. Professional players in competitive leagues cultivate the habit of being “tuned in” and they know exactly how to make sure they’re on their game in every game. Major League Soccer fails to cultivate any of that. So Major League Soccer is a problem. But at the same time there is no other possible body but Major League Soccer that can solve these problems.
• Captain American’t. He said “we’re still a small footballing nation” and in the 2006 World Cup he did his best to prove that. Good riddance. I’ve had enough of “experienced” players. Speaking of experience …
• Experience and Innocence. Yup, that was the most experienced team the United States ever sent to the World Cup. I was right about the perils of experience.
• The Bruce. The 2002 World Cup (the one four years ago) accomplished one thing for us: it solidified our position as a powerhouse in CONCACAF. That was Bruce Arena’s ultimate accomplishment. He made us a power in CONCACAF. We can debate if we’re better than Mexico – but the point is Arena made that debate real. That was, however, all Arena was capable of doing. He accomplished this feat backing 2002. We’ve been stagnant ever since then. The bitter truth is it is four years past time to move on. (By the way, we’re going to learn a lot about Bruce Arena when he takes over the New York Red Bulls. And what we learn may not be pretty.)

Oh, and I take back everything I said about playing like buffaloes. (Maybe I should have said buffoons.)

Both The DCenters and Quarter Volley are crying foul over Steve Sampson’s firing. The gist of their mutual argument is that Sampson “earned” a year because he won the domestic double last year. That “accomplishment” should have bought him more time than he was given.

Let me set the facts straight. Whatever the Galaxy accomplished last year was done despite Steve Sampson, not because of Steve Sampson. Let us not forget the 2005 Galaxy was a sorry soccer team that only squeaked into the playoffs because Real Salt Lake and Chivas USA barely even qualified as soccer teams.

And then once in the playoffs they only won the big dance because team after better team imploded: DC United, San Jose, Chicago and, finally, New England. That the LA Galaxy won the 2005 MLS Cup was farcical – as I said at the time.

As for the other half of the double, well I attended that game. It was one of the most dreadful games I’ve witnessed. Yes, the 2005 Galaxy won a couple championships, but they never once played like champions.

Sure, they say the 2006 winless streak that ultimately led to Sampson’s firing coincided with Donovan’s departure for the World Cup. This, they seem to suppose, is a mitigating circumstance. Here’s another way to look at that circumstance: deprived of his usual ace in the hole, Steve Sampson’s coaching inadequacies came fully light.

The bottom line that both The DCenters and Quarter Volley are ignoring is this: Sampson’s domestic double did buy him time he otherwise wouldn’t have had, namely the first 11 games of the 2006 season.

It was well past time for Sampson to go and Lalas did what he had to do. And in firing Sampson and hiring Yallop he also did, I’m quite sure, what Landon Donovan wanted him to do.

A specter is haunting Major League Soccer – the specter of Canadianism.

Last week, along with everyone else, I learned the disturbing rumors were true. The Canadian National Team Toronto FC will join Major League Soccer next season. I don’t want to incite any unnecessary panic (I assure you the panic I intend to incite is completely necessary), but I am deeply concerned about this latest Canadian incursion into American culture.

As everyone well knows, the Canadian menace has been infiltrating our fair and innocent country for decades. First they came for the entertainment industry. William Shatner and Monty Hall seemed innocent enough, but they were only the beginning. Then it was Paul Anka, Rich Little and Alex Trebeck. By the time Howie Mandel and Bryan Adams came on the scene it was already too late.

And how little we took notice of the steady march of Canada’s Arctic imperialism. Just witness the bitter dispute over Hans Island. Once they take that island and the rest of the Arctic they will head for Europe. And then falling like dominoes it’ll be Africa, Antarctica, South America, Central America and then … That’s right: Hans Island and then Texas.

It’s starting to make sense now, isn’t it? If only we Americans had resisted Canada as valiantly as the brave warriors of the Hans Island Liberation Front then perhaps this dire situation could have been averted.

But no, we thought we were insulated from the Canuckian scourge. And I’m sorry to say the denial was doubly deep among American soccer fans. “They don’t play soccer up there in those few acres of snow. Hockey’s their game and they can have the NHL for all we care.” That’s what we said. We were wrong.

The signs were there. The ubiquitous presence of the Canadian production “Fox Sport World Report” on America’s Soccer Channel. Frank Yallop in San Jose along with Pat Onstad and Dwayne DeRosario. Geoff Aunger. Mark Watson. They were vanguard troops sent to infiltrate American soccer, that most vital and strategic sector of American society. We should have acted. But we didn’t.

Today we find Onstad, De Rosario and Adrian Serioux, the latest Canadian apparatchik to infiltrate American soccer, down there in Houston - in Texas - just waiting for those dominoes to fall.

And now to learn our leaders in New York are in league with the Canadians, that they’re willing collaborators in the evil Maple Leaf agenda? It’s all so very troubling.

If we fail to act now soon every soccer specific stadium in the United States will become a Canadian foothold. That’s when the Canadian plot would take its most sinister turn. In an attempt to introduce a foreign substance into our precious bodily fluids Budweiser would be replaced by Molson. That’s the way your hardcore Canadian works.

Believe me when I tell you Toronto FC is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Canadian plot we have ever had to face. I can no longer sit back and allow Canadian infiltration, Canadian indoctrination, Canadian subversion and the international Canadian conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Every single time Real Salt Lake scored a goal I erupted in a fit of hysterical laughter. I find it quite pleasurable to see the Galaxy lose. I admit that. But in between goals I also found myself wondering whether the score - Real Salt Lake 3, Landon Free Galaxy 0 - really was the best result for both teams.

See, I’ve come to believe for both the Galaxy and RSL that it’s in their long term interest to lose games, and to lose them badly. Los Angeles, who have lost their last three games by an aggregate score of 8-0, has been doing an admirable job of securing its interest. I’d like to think that Alexi Lalas knew the Galaxy’s interest before last weekend, but I’m absolutely positive he knows it now. Steve Sampson has to go.

Just because you know what has to happen doesn’t always mean you can or want to make it happen. For any number of reasons, but particularly for lack of a suitable alternative, Lalas and Company may (indeed probably) feel right now is not the time to send Sampson on his merry way. Perhaps I buy into those Klinsmann coaching the Galaxy rumblings a bit too much, but you’ve gotta admit something about it rings very true. Point is, I think Sampson’s going to hang on to his job until after the World Cup.

But there’s a real danger in deferring the inevitable: the coach who needs to be fired might start winning. That’s a bad thing. Crew fans understand what I’m talking about. Back in October I wrote the following about the Crew’s 2005 season:

We all woke up on May 15, 2004 and read in the morning press that today was a day of reckoning for Greg Andrulis. Win that afternoon or face the axe. In retrospect Columbus probably should have thrown the match. Instead they won and delayed the inevitable for over a year. Yes, the inevitable.

There was not a single bit of difference between the Greg Andrulis whose team missed the playoffs in 2003 and went winless in its first five games of 2004, and the Greg Andrulis whose team beat New England on that unfortunate Saturday. Not one bit of difference.

I don’t know if John Ellinger would have been fired or not had Real Salt Lake failed to win against the Los Angeles Galaxy. I have my doubts, and I strongly suspect Ellinger’s job security is considerably more secure than it ought to be. But the basic fact of the matter is that he should have been fired a long time ago. The win against Los Angeles changed absolutely nothing in that regard.

There is no difference between the John Ellinger whose team went 18 games without a win and the John Ellinger whose team had a very good day against a depleted and effete Los Angeles Galaxy.

Eighteen. If you’re a Real Salt Lake fan you know what that number means.

Another game and you’re in ‘99 Metros territory. And you know as well I that nothing is going to change so long as Ellinger is in charge. If this continues much longer there will be no dispute about it: Ellinger’s Real Salt Lake will be the worst performing team in Major League Soccer history.

Now there’s a certain dignity in supporting a lousy team. But let’s be clear: that dignity is conferred only retrospectively. It’s only later, when you’re actually winning games, that you can look over at those newly arrived bandwagon bums and know that you are better than them because you were there during the darkest of days.

That dignity does not exist during the dark days themselves. The dark days are miserable days, they are days of fomenting anger, an anger whose primary object will always rightfully be the negligence and incompetence of the team’s management. And let me assure you Real Salt Lake fans if your team has gone eighteen games without a win and your coach hasn’t been fired, then the management of your team has been negligent and incompetent.

Supporting a team as poorly managed as Real Salt Lake is undoubtedly a miserable endeavor. But some people cannot cope with misery. Such people foster within themselves a sort of cognitive dissonance that helps them deal with the situation. They refuse to cast judgment, they refuse to place blame. The team, they say, “tried” really hard every week and “the coach is not the problem.” In fact, when pressed these people will deny there is a problem. And if you say there is a problem, if you blame the coach, if you criticize the tactics (or lack thereof), they will admonish you for not supporting the team. (Yes, this type of person occurs frequently today in the political world as well.)

These are the happy-go-lucky idiots who support the team “win or lose,” “no matter what.” They have conned themselves into believing that everything is going well, that everything is going according to plan. Those people are insufferable. They’re the soccer fan equivalent of that wretch in high school who was so confused that he laughed and smiled whenever he was picked on and beat up. He couldn’t admit his dire social situation and he couldn’t admit that something was very, very wrong. So he pretended it was all a lark and constructed his own explanatory reality in which things weren’t at all as bad as they truly were. In fact, to him things were just splendid. Such dissociation from the genuine reality of the situation is therapeutic to be sure. It is also pathetic.

There is another way. When you’re a good team that goes bad (as DC United did a few years back) then it’s harder for the fans to stomach the downturn and I suspect they react visibly and vocally more quickly. But Real Salt Lake is a young team. It’s a team that has never experienced genuine success on the field. I can’t be certain, but I suspect that’s why there remains to this day a lack of visible protest and criticism in the stands. It’s time that changed. Real Salt Lake fans need to stand up and say, as the old line goes, “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

Now there are a lot of ways to do this – banners, chanting, booing, walking out en masse to name a few. But I think my favorite, and the one that always seem to make it onto TV and into the newspapers is hiring an airplane to tow a “fire the coach” banner over the stadium while the game is in progress. I would like to say that the DC United supporters on BigSoccer.com were the first people in Major League Soccer to use this tactic, but apparently Eric Wynalda was the first when back in MLS’s early days he hired a “small plane that towed a banner encouraging the team to fire [coach Laurie] Calloway.” I will say, however, to the best of my knowledge those DC United supporters were the first fans to take such action.

After 9/11 there were some rumors that flying a banner over a stadium was no longer legal. There is a grain of truth to this rumor, but that grain is not applicable to most Major League Soccer situations. It’s only illegal to fly a banner over a stadium during a game if there are more than 30,000 in attendance. Since this is very, very rarely the case in Major League Soccer, planes towing “fire the coach” banners remain a viable tactic for disgruntled soccer fans.

Of course, when hiring an airplane you also have to choose your game carefully. The DC United fans chose an ESPN2 game (Real Salt Lake’s only ESPN2 game this year is on May 27). But I’m personally not sure that ESPN2 games are the best choice. Seems to me those games are more or less scripted and they’re not that likely to give much attention to any airborne stunt. In DC United’s case the plane was shown on TV, but there was very little discussion about it. A case could be made for preferring a locally broadcast game.

So that’s the choice. You can gleefully stick your head in the proverbial sand or you can take a vocal and visible stand. (Hey, that rhymes!) And there’s nothing more visible than aerial advertising to convey your “fire the coach” message.

And if that doesn’t work? Well, don’t let them tell you ninjas are never the answer.