Is your name Bruce?

For the last time, my name is not Bruce. Bruce is the owner of the belly that gives this blog its name. And if you can't figure out which Bruce it is that owns that belly then you probably won't get half the jokes I write.

So who are you?

I'm the guy who chose The Belly as his pen name.

If you're not Bruce then why did you name this blog "Bruce's Belly"?

Something in my belly said it was the right name for the blog.

I'm still confused. Can I email you?

I don't want no creepy emails, but if you would like to contact me here's the link.

Ok, but what's up with that "Internet Nuts" category?

If you're not familiar with the phrase "Internet Nuts" then I suggest you email DC United President and CEO Kevin Payne. He's the guy who coined the phrase. Suffice it to say the category includes all my ruminations upon soccer and the internet.

And again about those categories, what are "Belly Flops"?

I try to post fairly long pieces. But sometimes there isn't anything going on that's truly worthy of substantial writing, and sometimes I run across some little gem that I just want to post. So when I write short bit I call them "Belly Flops" for no other reason than I thought it funny.

Dude, will you put a link to my blog on your website?

Dude, I link only to blogs that I personally find interesting because they offer timely and in-depth news or thoughtful and educated commentary. Also, in general, I will not link to blogs that are overtly commercial or feature an abundance of advertising. In short, link here if you like, but if you don't meet a certain standard then I probably won't link back. Sorry.

I've got this awesome poker website. Can I put a banner on your website? We'll make loads of money.

That's a load of crap. And, no, I will not put ads on this blog, particularly not poker ads.

What about penis enlargement ads? Or how about some Enerx ads - like on Fox Soccer Channel?

Nope. Not those either.

I'm too lazy to come up with my own content. Can I syndicate your blog?

I'm skeptical but email me and I'll think about it.